I can relate a lot of what you are dealing with through my wife and daughter, both of whom have medication to assist in finding their balance, and the daughter has counseling as well to support that. The result for the kiddo, is a monumental shift and thankfully, far, far away from the edge of the cliff.
I also know, as a spectator, what it's like to see a person lose their identity and wait, hoping some form of that person reappears. But, my therapist says that's what I have to let go--who she was and stop comparing who she is now to that person.
Medication, not only helps, in come cases it truly saves.
Thank you for sharing.