My approach to "be kind" with my daughter has two parts. In our heart to hearts and pick-me-up talks, I tell her first, "be kind to yourself" and then "kindness matters." And contrary to her genteel raised mother, I always tell her to make a fuss. If something is wrong, say something or do something. In fact, a few days ago, she was aggravated that for a dance (graded activity) at her school stated that only boy/girl pairings were allowed. She asked if she could say something to her teacher about that. After encouraging her to do so, she wrote a knockout, concise, objective email to her teacher-sent without parental editing-and the school admin shifted its position. She said, "I didn't think it was very kind to say who you could or couldn't dance with."