Observations From The ER-Live!

The ol’ brain bucket spilled a little over the side, and I’ve hours to work with.

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If I suddenly fell out of my chair and onto the floor, with my hands eyeballs gleeking brain juice and blood bubbling from my ears, what kind of reaction would that bring?

Would I be surrounded (from a reasonable distance) by other patients, all recording my zombie mutation?

Would it be all hands on deck in a rapid and organized containment and treatment by the invisible swat team of doctors and nurses; who are all hiding out in lunch rooms and storage lockers having sex? I watched Grey’s Anatomy for years, that’s how it goes down in scrub town.

How long would it take until Dustin Hoffman and Rene Russo showed up in hazmats then send someone to my home to look for a monkey? – if I have a say, please send Rene. Or Morgan Freeman, the voice, right? Soothing in any crisis.

What if I fell asleep in the waiting room? Just slumped over, head lolling to the side. Is that poor ER etiquette? Would people think I died?

People have a very difficult time in understanding the exit is not the same door as the…