That was tough to read. I wish it was as easy as saying, "Keep going, it will bet better" but you've been "going" a long time.

Sometimes a change is as a good as a rest. Nobody in the real world, where people work 9-5 and worry about bills and life can afford a vacation, but you should try to go on one alone. With a gf/bestie, someone without the day-day life baggage. Get away somewhere and breathe. Give yourself a break. You deserve it.

Sending you kind thoughts.